


The Nougat Apocalypse (Jack Kline)

by SatanSpawnedNougat



Series: The Jack Protection Squad [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Don't Get Jack Mad, Jack Kline Loves Nougat, M/M, Never offend the nougat, Why Did I Write This?, i lost it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 01:24:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17498996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanSpawnedNougat/pseuds/SatanSpawnedNougat
Summary: Where Jack gets mad and accidentally starts a nougat apocalypse - much to everyone's horror.





	The Nougat Apocalypse (Jack Kline)

**Author's Note:**

> At the Supernatural Amino I am part of a club (The Jack Protection Squad) and I am a writer there. I have to write stories based off prompts I receive there. And I decided to share it here as well. 
> 
> So if you want monthly Jack stories, I suggest you subscribe to the series this story belongs to. Either way, enjoy this madness!

Jack looked around in amazement, standing on the tips of his toes so he could see better. The bunker was filled with many people he had never met before. He had never seen so many people together in one place! The child wondered if any of them would like to be his friend.

He looked around at the many people gathered - angels, humans & demons alike - as he held a few nougat bars close to his chest.

Deciding to test his luck, he went up to a brunette girl closest to him. “Hello, I’m Jack!” He said enthusiastically when he stood in front of her, giving her a large smile. Maybe this demon would like to be his friend. He didn’t have any demon friends yet, and she hadn’t tried to kill anyone so Jack figured she wasn’t as bad as those demons Sam had told him about once.

The demon gave him a blank look. “Get lost. I don’t do well with kids,” she told him bluntly.

Jack didn’t let that stop him. “What’s your name? Would you like some nougat?” He asked, after which he offered her one of his candy bars. Not yet fully understanding ‘personal space’, he nearly pushed the candy in her face.

“It’s Meg,” she replied, “and I’m not sure if your half-breed ass noticed or not... but I’m a _demon_. Demons don’t need to eat so I don’t need your candy. Keep it.”

Jack took a step back at Meg’s words as if she pushed him. “Oh... okay...” he said sadly, looking down at his feet before he turned around and walked off again.

The demon failed the Nephilim’s friendship test... so Jack figured he should find another possible friend. His gaze landed on two angels who were talking to each other, he tilted his head. He didn’t have the best experiences with most angels but he figured he could at least _try_.

Going up to the two angels, he said. “Hi!”

The angels looked up at him. One of them tilted his head and the other gave him an amused look. “You’re Lucifer’s kid, right? I don’t think that we’ve met yet,” the blond angel said. “I’m Gabriel, the awesome one, and that’s Michael. He’s kinda a dick but can be a softy once you get to know him.” He added, pointing towards the dark haired one standing next to him, who gave him a glare at being introduced that way.

Gabriel ignored his brother’s dead-glare and instead had his attention focused on the young Nephilim.

“I’m Jack!” He replied. This was going well so far. He might get some new friends today! But there was only _one_ way to be sure. “Do you want some nougat?” He tried again, holding out a few candy bars, almost holding his breath.

“I never say no to candy!” Gabriel said and took a bar from Jack’s outstretched hands and proceeded to eat it.

Michael watched the other angel in bafflement. “Wait... I thought we couldn’t eat human food?” He gaped at Gabriel.

Gabriel gave his brother an almost sad look as Jack watched their interaction with fascination. “We can actually eat sweet food just fine. Candy as well, which includes nougat.”

Jack offered Michael some nougat as well, who took it silently upon receiving the child’s hopeful expression. Michael ate the nougat and concluded that he enjoyed it, much to the joy of Jack and Gabriel.

Those angels passed his friendship test.

~~

Watching the Nephilim interact with the Archangels got Meg curious. If angels could eat candy... would that count for demons as well? She couldn’t help but wonder about that. Eyes falling on the table, she noticed a lone nougat bar laying on the surface. Walking over to it, she picked it up almost skeptically, turning it around as she inspected it closely.

Shrugging, the demon unwrapped the candy bar and took a small bite. Pulling a face at the taste, she put the nougat down again.

It just wasn’t her cup of tea. Too sweet for her liking.

~~

In the corner of his eyes, Jack saw Meg pull a face and put the nougat away in distaste. Eyes widening in horror, he looked again to check he wasn’t imagining things. But he wasn’t. She actually put the nougat away.

 _No, not the nougat_!

“Jack... are you alright?” Michael asked worriedly when he noticed that the child had grown pale and started shaking in what seemed to be rage to him. He shared a worried glance with Gabriel, and almost instinctively, both Archangels took a few steps back. 

In a flash, Jack jumped up, nougat bars in his hands. He threw them at the demon. But Meg only laughed at that, slightly amused at the fact that the child had started throwing candy her way.

 _This is not how it is supposed to go_! This was supposed to be a battle to honor the nougat, one that would be heralded throughout the ages for its greatness and noble cause. But for the demon, this appeared to be a game, nothing more than a food fight. The thought alone was enough to anger Jack. He began to propel more nougat bars at the demon in speeds never thought imaginable, with enough force to harm any mortal. 

When yet another nougat bar hit Meg square in the face, she scowled and whistled sharply to summon her Hellhound to her side. The hound growled, and with its master’s command, charged at the Nephilim.

Eyes flashing, Jack slammed the hound away with a wave of his wrist. “Surrender,” he hissed, more bars of the world-famous nougat appearing in his hands which he held up like a trophy. He jumped at the demon.

“No one messes with my nougat!” Jack hissed between his teeth before he proceeded to smother the demon with the candy, shoving it down her windpipe.

The Archangel Lucifer had felt the energy coming off his son and was watching him shove nougat bar after nougat bar down the choking demon’s windpipe. He was proud at his son on acting according to his true self and instincts, but he also made a mental note not to piss Jack off - or do anything to ‘offend the nougat.’

“JACK!!” Sam called out, just entering the room and noticing what the Nephilim was up too. He tried his best to ignore the other entities in the room - keeping in mind that they needed them - as he pushed his way through them to reach the young Nephilim. “ _DON’T_!!”

But Jack did not hear. Eyes glowing up a radiant gold, Jack’s gaze narrowed. As if he were to be breathing, he tapped into the vastness that was his powers - which were multiplied thanks to his rage - and then he unleashed them. _All of it_ , holding nothing back.

Before anyone could comprehend what was going on, they all got strangled and flooded by what appeared to be an infinite amount of nougat. The nougat got in their clothes and hair, pressed then flush against the walls and each other, the poor angels got it in their wings, and it reached nearly the ceiling as they were struggling against the flood of candy.

And it was not just the Bunker that was hit by Jack’s powers... the candy flooded out and even reached the cities close-by. In no time at all, it had covered the majority of the American continent, spreading out even further and baffling those who lived there. Thanks to the Nephilim’s powers, it just kept on coming and coming and coming. There was no end in sight.

Meg screamed in terror when the nougat hit as she started choking when it got stuck in her windpipe. She was a demon, so she would survive, but still... it was no fun to be strangled by nougat.

Attempting to swim through the nougat, Sam tried to get to Jack in the hopes of undoing this madness. But he wasn’t really getting anywhere for moving around was hard. It also wasn’t helping that he somehow managed to get sandwiched between Gabriel and a wall. “Gabe, can you _move_?” Sam asked, struggling.

The Archangel shrugged. “I would, Samator, but all this nougat makes moving around hard.”

Sam glared at the Archangel. Especially since said Archangel did not seem to mind at all to be stuck against him. He even seemed to _like_ it. “Can’t you zap it away?”

Gabriel shook his head. “I already tried but am unable too. Only Jack can remove all this.” Sam groaned at that and Gabriel grinned. “Come on, Sam-A-Ham. It could be worse! Candy is fun, and at least you’re stuck with me, out of everyone.”

Ever since the nougat appeared, Jack was in bliss. He wasn’t entirely sure _how_ it happened, but this was one of the best things to ever happen to him in his short life. Closing his eyes in content, he snuggled closer against the candy, failing to notice the screams of terror around him. But because he lost his concentration, and because of the nougat, he forgot his rage for a moment. His powers got undone and the nougat vanished - leaving everyone to fall down in exclamations of shock.

Sam fell right on top of Gabriel - his face square in the angel’s groin - who let out a grunt at having the much taller man fall on him.

Lucifer managed to get stuck under Michael, left to stare in those shocked blue eyes staring down at him. Both Archangels froze and stared at each other wide-eyed before Michael jumped off as if electrocuted. They looked away from each other, both blushing madly, and Michael busied himself with attempting to get some leftover nougat bars out of his wings.

A few nougat bars seemed to stay behind. Leftovers from the flood. Jack noticed this and the Nephilim started to run, snatching the nougat bars off the ground - stuffing them in the ‘secret nougat pocket’ his jacket had - as he made a mad dash for his room.

“ _JACK_!!” Sam yelled, moving to run after the child and trying to catch him. “ _Get back here_!” They disappeared somewhere along the corner as the rest stayed behind, still dazed and traumatized from what had happened. Somewhere along the way, Meg slipped back down to Hell - deciding she would rather face hellfire than a certain Nephilim and his candy.

They could officially cross ‘getting strangled by nougat’ off their bucket list.


End file.
